Finding Beauty within the Chaos

You know, it seems that sometimes despite our best efforts, chaos seems to find its way into our lives. This season has been absolute, 100% mad chaos for me. Chaos, chaos, and more chaos. No matter how hard I try, the conflicts always seem to pile up at once. It drives me crazy. I've had countless moments of frustration, but I've also learned a lot through these circumstances - mainly the importance of finding the beautiful moments within the chaotic moments.

broken DSLR camera

Over the past six weeks or so, I've celebrated a handful of family members' birthdays, a school field trip, judged a fine arts festival, sprained my ankle, got a staph infection in my sinuses, had an asthma attack, had a couple of anxiety attacks and lost a lot of sleep, been sick and taken care of sick children multiple times. Multiple times. Mac also managed to break both my iPad and DSLR camera within about 10 days of each other. (Neither was intentional, nor is he allowed to handle those items, but I assure you he has been grounded.) I also signed up to run in a 5k sponsored by an organization that confronts human trafficking. After I signed up for the 5k, I got really sick for a couple of weeks and was unable to run. And then, as soon as I started to feel better, I sprained my ankle! Seriously. I don't know how I manage these things sometimes. My ankle finally healed enough for me to resume running again last weekend. The 5k is this weekend. (Baahhhhh!!) Chaos? Yes. Crazy? Possibly. But the real question is, am I ok? The answer is YES! 

Yes. I am ok. These chaotic six weeks haven't been my favorite, but I'm still ok. Why? Because despite everything, I've realized that there are always good moments, beautiful moments, in the midst of the conflicts. It's not like I'm in love with the continuous chaos that I seem to find myself in again and again, but I'm learning to appreciate the moments that often get overlooked during conflict. 

Geocaching adventures & digging our Jeep out of the sand

Over the weekend, I had a night where I didn't sleep well, due to to medication I had to take. And, due to unrelated circumstances, the boys didn't sleep well either. The next morning didn't go well for us and I was sleep deprived and a little foggy. It was a frustrating. However, Joel and I decided to make the most of the day and took the boys Geocaching (or as we call it, Treasure Hunting). Our adventure started out well and we found our first cache of the day (or treasure). But then we couldn't find the next cache. Mac was so disappointed. So, we chose a different cache - out in the desert near our house. Less than a mile from the next cache (0.3 miles to be exact), our Jeep got stuck in a patch of soft sand (it only has 2 wheel drive). So, Joel, Mac, and I spent the next 30 minutes digging our Jeep out of the ruts. It was a lot of work. And we would get out of one rut, only to get stuck in another one. Each time we would get out of one rut, we would cheer Joel on. It made it fun. Eventually we got out, but by that time the wind had picked up so much that it was difficult to walk against and our Jeep was on the verge of overheating. After all the digging, and the fact that we were so close to the cache, how could we give up? We couldn't! We walked the last 0.3 miles to the cache in the wind while our Jeep cooled off. Guess what? We found the cache, and the boys got a couple of awesome souvenirs. Mac got a paracord bracelet and Cheese got an army man. It was truly a triumphant moment, a beautiful moment, for our family. It was just a silly little family adventure, but in that adventure we were able to show that hard work, perseverance, and a good attitude can reap great rewards. It really did for us that day.

Each day has its own beautiful moments

That day started out rough for all of us, and our Jeep got stuck in the sand during our adventure. Both of those incidents had great potential to spoil our fun. Instead we chose to keep a positive attitude. You know what? I've found that even in the worst days, there's almost always something positive to focus on. I recently had a day where I was so exhausted and overwhelmed, I had to go to the staircase landing, have a quick cry-break, pull myself together, and then go take care of the boys. Even on that very difficult day, I encountered a couple of beautiful moments with my kids. 

Sweet moment in the midst of a chaotic day

Sometimes, it seems that life has handed you one gigantic bowl of lemons. Despite our greatest efforts, we can't always control our circumstances. It just doesn't always work out that way. Beyond frustrating! But despite the conflict and chaos, it's important to look for those beautiful moments. Finding the beautiful moments in the midst of the chaotic moments truly makes life more enjoyable. 

On My Bike Ride this Morning...

I went on a bike ride this morning. I love riding my bike. It's one of my favorite things to do, and it's an awesome way to get exercise. I try to ride 10 -15 miles at least once a week. This morning I thought we would change things up a bit and ride the trail down by the river. Let me tell you it was complete chaos. But before I tell you the story, here are a couple things you need to know:

• My son always comes with me on a bike ride. I pull him in one of those trailer-chariot things.
• I always take our dog, Brody - a Border Collie with limitless energy, on about a 3 mile run for the last part of my bike ride (I ride home to get him, attach his leash to the chariot, and have him run next to us).
• Brody has not been walked in 2 weeks and has been driving us crazy with his excessive barking. He REALLY needed to have a walk (run).  
• We have an unfinished backyard, and it has been a while since we bathed him. He looked like a homeless dog.
• Before our bike ride, my son and I bathed him, so I wouldn't feel embarrassed to be seen with dirty homeless dog.

So now that you know all this, I will continue with my story:

• We don't have a bike rack on our Expedition (but we should get one) so it took me 20+ minutes to figure out how to get one bicycle and one giant chariot into the back of the Expedition. I ended up taking out the back row of seats (that took a while), and taking off the front wheel of my bike in order for everything to fit.
• In the car, on our way to the river trail my toddler was feeling extra ornery and tried to kick everything in reach of his feet. He got in trouble.
• By the time we got to the river trail, had the bike assembled, the trailer attached, the toddler in his chariot, and the dog on his leash, it was windy. Incredibly windy. Like 20+ mph. Awesome. But at least it's a flat trail!
• After about 3 to 4 miles, it's apparent my dog is tired. But I wanted to ride further. So what did I do? I put the dog in the chariot with my son. Then I realized that at some point my dog pooped while we were riding, and he had poop all over his rear section (So much for the bath).  It just so happens that I had a towel in the chariot (I don't know why). I wrapped the towel around the dog's rear and set him inside the chariot with my son. At that moment I had a spontaneous nose bleed. (awesome) I didn't have any kleenex and I refused to stand on the side of the trail, pinching my nose like a crazy person (there are just some things I refuse to do in public, and this is one of them). So I get back on my bike and keep riding, sniffing up the blood, wiping it on my cycling gloves, and trying to keep the blood from gushing out my nose. 
• So despite all this, I keep riding. Keep in mind that its really really windy. My son is not fond of the wooly beast sitting next to him in the chariot and screams bloody murder. For the next ten minutes. That was awesome. All the walkers and the cyclist looked at us. I'm sure they truly thought I was nuts. Probably was/am. 
• Finally we turn around. (It's been about 6 or 7 miles). I get the dog out of the chariot. My son is relieved, but covered in dog hair. And still aggravated. Our dog has a reputation for getting in peoples' kool-aid. This is how the toddler was feeling at the moment. 
• I make the dog run along the bike the WHOLE WAY back. But I was nice to him. I didn't force him to go fast like I usually do. And I stopped every couple of miles to give him water (that I poured into a energy bar wrapper, because I didn't have a bowl for him - aka diy dog dish).
• We finally make it back to the car. And the dog decides to jump into the back of the car as soon as I open the back hatch to the car. With his poopy butt. (ahhhhh!!!). 
• I load everything into the car, including toddler and dog (with the towel) and drive home. When pulling into the driveway, I realize that I had been driving with the emergency brake on. The whole time. (That explains the wierd smell.) And the toddler took off his shoes and one sock and tossed them somewhere in the car. They are still in there (the shoes and sock, not the toddler.)

Yes, that was my morning. I give you permission to laugh. How can you not? I'm sure everyone thought I was nuts on the trail this morning. That's ok. Despite the chaos, it was a really neat ride. There are some amazing fall colors along the trail - plus it's a pretty easy ride. (almost completely flat). So who wants to join my next week? I promise I won't bring the dog next time. :) Ha ha.

I passed by this sign this morning on the bike ride. I'm just not so certain I understand the sign about the alien???