So Here's My Life

The things we make,
the food we eat and
the shenanigans in between.

A blog about making things by

Friday, August 29, 2008

Cravings and other thoughts.

For about three days now, I've had a very strong craving for a Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Biscuit from McD's. Unfortunately, the craving would hit me every night at about 9:30. McDonald's does not sell breakfast at that time. But by the morning, I would usually forget. However, this morning I woke up, and the first thing I thought of was that Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Biscuit that I wanted so desperately. So I threw on some clothes and ran out the door on a mission to McD's. Let me tell you, OMG, that Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Biscuit was like the best thing that I've ever eaten...but then again so were the triple berry muffins the other day, and the triple chocolate ice cream, and the Luscious Lemon Fruit Dip that I made for the young adults meeting last night. Ahhh!! I feel like my taste buds are totally taking me over!

I still don't know what to think of this whole pregnancy thing yet. It's so weird to me. I'm usually so strong when it comes to food temptations. It's never been too hard to resist. But lately, that has not been the case. I've set a goal for myself to only gain the recommended 30 pounds with pregnancy. I really would like to not have to work off too much weight post-pregnancy - plus I've also read that if you gain weight slowly, then you are more likely to have less stretch marks, which I've also made a personal goal of mine. You know what else? this whole weight gain thing has totally been messing with my mind! I've always been the one in charge of how much weight I gain or lose. But this is no longer the case. And now that I'm gaining weight and I don't always quite look pregnant, it makes me feel chunky. And self-conscious. I can't exactly step up the cardio-exercise to shed the pounds. It's like the whole thought of being pregnant hasn't completely sunk in yet. There's an element of sacrifice that I haven't been able to wrap my mind around yet - sacrificing my need to stay thin, sacrificing my need to abstain from food, and sometimes just my time. I've been taking a lot of naps, because I've been so worn out. It's no longer about me, but what is good for the baby. Honestly, in a way, that is really hard for me to accept. But I will. I really do want this baby. I'm still adjusting.

One last thing - you know sometimes I mean, I know I'm pregnant and all, but sometimes I could totally convince myself that this pregnancy is all in my it's totally not real. But then I look at that sonogram picture and remind myself that there really is a baby growing inside of me. It's weird.

I need to go do something productive now - like edit wedding photos from the two weddings I did recently

1 comment:

Cara said...

I have a few stretchmarks ...I consider them my blue ribbons for winning first place in the baby birthing contest! And yes, I can well remember the feeling of not having control over my body - like I said - its like an alien invades your body...but its such a cute little alien...