The Toy Purge of 2013

I want to do something a little different today. As it turned out, I need a couple more days to refine the projects I had originally planned on posting. It's been a while since I've written a post about everyday life around here. I've had this subject on my mind for a several months. It hasn't been until now that I've taken the time to sit down and share it with you guys.

I went on a trip to Kenya when I was still single and in my early 20's. While I was in Kenya, my team and I visited Kibera, the largest slum on the continent of Africa. We had to walk in and out of the area on foot, and were not allowed to bring bags, or anything of value. The people were dressed in dirty rags. Sewage and trash filled the streets and the smell was terrible. It was a memorable experience, to say the least.

Twelve years later, I still reflect back on that experience from time to time. My husband and I own our home (well...as long as we pay our mortgage!), we have two cars, and plenty of furniture, clothes, kitchen gadgets, appliances, and a multitude of miscellaneous possessions. Society tells us that we can never have enough possessions. There is always something you need to make your life better. Happiness can be found with every new item you purchase. This is false. True happiness is not found in possessions, but in God. Nothing else. Living in our society is truly a blessing, but I've found that it's important to keep our consuming desires in check, especially when you consider the living conditions in poverty-stricken parts of the world.

A couple of months ago, Joel and I had a difficult time getting Mac to put away his toys on a regular basis. Regardless of the fact that I rotated out his toys, and sifted through them on a regular basis to get rid of the junk, the conflict never seemed to subside. The toy situation consistently escalated into a tense conflict. During these moments, I would remember the Kiberian slum that I walked through as a young adult, and would feel a terrible sense of guilt. The people inside that slum struggled on a daily basis to find enough food, shelter, and clean water, and yet my son had so many toys, that he was overwhelmed with the task of taking care of them. I finally realized that both of my boys had too many toys.

This is the closet where the boys store their toys. It's actually worse than it looks. The floor was completely covered in toys. The ironic part is that Mac was looking at the Fire Safety plan.

After this realization, Joel and I came up with a game plan, also known as The Toy Purge of 2013. (Just kidding...well, sort of. We really do call it that when we joke about it.) I sat Mac down and explained to him that since he gave us such a hard time each time he had to put away his toys, it meant that he had too many. I told him that we had to get rid of some of them. So, we set aside a day and sorted through all of the toys. Mac picked out his favorite toys to keep, and we got rid of the others, including the broken toys. It was a hard day for both Mac and I and there were plenty of tears, but after it was over, we had a smaller, manageable stash of toys.

These are the toys we chose to donate. Part of me still feels bad that we had to get rid of these great toys.

This is the closet after The Toy Purge. Still plenty of toys, but so much more manageable. 

We ended up giving away 3 trash bags of toys to a local charity and since that day, both of them have forgotten about the donated toys. The boys seem to have a better appreciation of the toys they kept. Since The Toy Purge, the conflict surrounding the toys has significantly decreased and both boys no longer seem overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the toys in their possession. It was definitely a difficult thing to go through, but it was a good reminder of what is truly important.

The Toy Purge of 2013 provided several life lessons for Mac, but this experience taught me a couple of things as well:

1. We live in an incredibly wealthy society and, as parents, we always want the absolute best for our children. This often includes material possessions - toys, clothes, a matching furniture set for their bedroom, perfectly decorated rooms, etc. None of this is bad, but it's important for us to know when to draw the line. We have to remember what is truly important - material possessions are not.

2. As Mac and I sorted through his toys that day, he would often tear up when I made him choose toys. Those were horrible moments for me. As my son mourned over choosing between his toys, I felt like someone was ripping my heart out of my chest. I wanted to cry too. I want my children to have an enriched and full life and to be a part of every blessing possible - toys included. I felt like I was robbing him of these blessings when he was forced to choose between his toys. I felt like the meanest mom in the world. During those heart-wrenching moments, I had to remind myself that my children will not have a less-enriched life if they only have one toy fire truck instead of three. Providing an enriched life does not mean providing more possessions for our children, but instead teaching them to appreciate what they do have.

The Toy Purge of 2013 was a difficult experience, but an important one for our family. What we learned from The Purge continues to effect our family's perspective on a daily basis. Last night, Joel and I were sorting through several boxes in our office to donate to a local charity. It wasn't easy, and we had some difficult moments. We had to remind each other of what is truly import. This morning, Mac gave me a hard time when I made him clean his room before school until I turned on the timer and told him I would donate every thing left on the floor when it went off. His toys were picked up with five minutes to spare. (We've made a lot of progress.) Life lessons aren't always easy to go through, but we always come away with renewed perspective about true value.

Parenting Without Approval

Approval.

Deep down inside, most people desire the affirmation of others. I am one of those people. It's more of a subconscious thing. It is for most people. I think that some people are more prone to this yearning than others, and each person's need for approval is unique to specific areas. If I am not careful, this approval driven desire can get away from me without me even realizing it. I have to continuously keep this area of my life in check.

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Over my 4 very long years of parenting (sarcasm), I've encountered numerous moms that always seem to be on a subconscious search for others to approve of their parenting choices, and uh...I've been one of them.

Why do we do this to ourselves? I think we all want to be recognized as good parents. Who doesn't want to be known as a good parent? So, we share our parenting experiences, beliefs, and goals with other moms. The problem is that although you may have a group of friends with similar beliefs and goals in parenting, sooner or later you will come across someone who doesn't. They may not hesitate to share their thoughts either, and depending on the delivery of their point of view, it could be offensive. This is where conflict enters. Some are able to discard unwanted opinions without a second thought (my husband calls this Brain Dump), but others...uh...like me, tend to get...aggravated. Enter emotional conflict and defensive rhetoric. It may not always be expressed to the offending person, but those thoughts and words are still present in your mind.

I spent way too much time dwelling within this terrible habit, then, one day I had a realization or two.

-The more you discuss parenting issues, the more you invite others to give their opinions. Discussing parenting issues is not a bad thing, but this needs to be done with care. Often times, when you discuss parenting issues, especially conflicts, others tend to interpret this as an open door to give their input and advice, regardless of whether or not you were looking for it. So, if you are not looking for advice, you may want to think twice before bringing up the topic.

 

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-Each family has a unique set of values and goals that they've established for themselves. Chances are they probably won't completely line up with yours. This is ok. My husband and I do not allow and have never allowed our children to sleep in our bed with us for numerous reasons. I have several friends who have, or still, co-sleep with their kids. Although co-sleeping is not something that we practice, it doesn't make those who do co-sleep bad parents. It's more of an issue of differing opinions, and each choice comes with its own set of pros and cons. We prefer the pros and cons that come with our children sleeping in their own beds. We feel that this is the best option for us in order to accomplish our family goals and it lines up with our values.

-Does it really matter what people think about our choices anyway? You know the answer. Of course it doesn't. Consider this:

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As parents we should never make our parenting choices based on others' approval. God's approval supersedes the approval of any other person.


So, the next time you find yourself in the middle of a parenting discussion, here's a couple things to consider:
- Think twice before you speak and evaluate your motives. Refrain from speaking when you do not have the correct motives. Ask yourself, "Why am I bringing this up?"
-When a conflicting opinion is voiced, Brain Dump. Dismiss it. Don't let it bother you.
-Respect each other's choices and opinions even if you don't agree with them. There's no need to create conflict.

Thoughts about Birthday Parties for Little Ones Under 5

Can we talk about birthday parties? Let's talk about birthday parties. I have birthdays on the brain because Cheese (aka the younger son - read the About Me section for a better explanation) is turning one. Exciting and sad all at once.

Birthdays are typically a big deal. Kids' birthdays seem to be a huge deal. After 4 years of planning birthdays, I have a come to a couple of conclusions.

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Hosting a birthday party at your home is a LOT of work. Often times it's easier and cheaper to pay a venue to host a party.

I hosted Mac's first and second birthday parties at my house. It was a LOT of work. In addition to making sure our house was spotless, there were endless hours googling birthday theme ideas, food prep, and party details. Details, details, details...

When Mac turned 3, I was pregnant with Cheese (Such a weird sentence). Since I felt like sleeping (or puking) most of the time, the last thing I wanted to do was plan a toddler's birthday party. So, we ended up hosting his birthday at Chick-Fil-A, one of the most inexpensive places in town to have a party. Win!

Mac's birthday party was so easy and inexpensive that we returned for his fourth birthday. This time, though, it was at his request. (LOVE this kid).

We ended up spending so much less money by hiring a venue than we had by hosting it at our house. The decorations, activities and food ended up surpassing the cost of simply paying someone else to do it all!

The birthday party probably won't be remembered by your kid or their friends for longer than a couple of weeks.

Pinterest is awesome, but it also gives unrealistic expectations for hosting events. Specifically, kids' birthday parties. I've seen AMAZING birthday parties on there. The problem is after seeing those ideas, anything less than the immaculate parties you saw are going to seem lame. There's no way you want to give your child a lame birthday party, right? Let me ask you something, do you remember each birthday party you attended as a child? What about the cakes and decorations?

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If you are anything like me, you can only vaguely recall two or three, but that's about it. I certainly don't remember any parties before I turned 5.

Every parent wants the best for their child, and birthdays fall in line with that desire. So, we spend hours upon hours planning, baking, cleaning and setting up for a birthday party. The thing is, they probably won't be able to remember it for longer than a couple of weeks. So, maybe we need to rethink how much time and energy we put into the inconsequential party details.

That hand-painted pendant banner probably won't be remembered by your guests and will end up sitting in your closet for a couple years before you finally convince yourself to toss it. Instead a couple of decorations from the Dollar Store will still provide a fun and celebratory atmosphere. Plus it's so much less work!

Keep your life simple and provide an easy and inexpensive party. Skip the hand-made decorations and hand-crafted party favors. 

At this age, (like under the age of 5) most kids aren't going to care WHAT you do at a party, they just want to play. And what about party favors? Really, party favors provide temporary amusement, but little else. Honestly, most of the party favors end up in the bottom of the toy box or trash sooner rather than later.

As a mom, some of my favorite party favors are fruit snacks and play-doh (Though I do have a couple mom friends that despise play-doh).

So, what am I saying? Give your kid a crappy party, because they won't remember it? Skip the party favors, because they'll end up in the trash anyway? Not at all! Let's just tone it down some. Immaculate parties are just not necessary, especially since most of it won't be remembered anyway. Let's simplify. The purpose of a birthday party is to celebrate a birthday. You can still celebrate without a meticulously detailed party.

Above all else, don't exhaust yourself over party details. It's just not worth it!

Cheese's birthday is in a couple weeks. We plan to invite both sets of grandparents over to our house, sing Happy Birthday to him, and eat cake. However, as my boys get older and if they want a spectacular themed birthday party, I'm totally game. But they're going to have to help. ;)

3 Parenting Books that Have Made My Life Easier

I think that every parent gets to the point where they feel stuck on an issue with their child - Sleeping, Eating, Schedules, etc. So maybe a book will help, right? But there's so many, so how do you know what to choose? These three books have been unbelievably helpful to me over the past several years.

 

1. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth
I wish I had known about this book when my older son was born. I had SO MUCH trouble getting him to sleep enough. He hated sleeping (still does). I had so many sleep battles with him when he was younger. But what I didn't know was how much I really didn't understand about sleep. Around my son's first birthday a friend recommended this book to me after a comment about his sleep deprivation. This book helped me correct his sleep issues. It explains how sleep works, why certain sleep issues to occur, and how to fix those problems. The knowledge from this book has helped me so much and my baby has much better sleep habits than my older son did at this age. We still encounter sleep issues from time to time, but it's so much easier to fix the problems now.

2. How to Get Your Kid to Eat: But Not Too Much by Ellyn Satter
We've had feeding battles with my older since...uhhh...birth. No lie. When it comes to eating, he can usually think of about 23,546 other things that he would rather do. It's not exactly that he hates food, but he just isn't that interested in eating (except chocolate). I suspect that the fact that he had projectile reflux as an infant has some sort of subconscious influence toward his food apathy. This was a huge issue for us when he was younger. I was constantly stressed about his food consumption. It wasn't something that I expressed too often, but it was always in the back of my mind. How to Get Your Kid to Eat But Not Too Much talks about strategies to teach your child to be a healthy eater. It discusses different problems that occur during different age groups as well and how to deal with them in a conflict free manner. After implementing these strategies, my husband and I were able to help our son to become a better eater. He is still a picky eater, but the food "battles" at the dinner table have diminished significantly. And we can always get him to at least try his food. (That never happened before the book). (This book was recommended by the occupational therapist that worked with my older son on his feeding issues as a baby AND the strategies in this book are also taught in WIC programs)

3. On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam
I've used the Babywise strategies with both of my boys. Between 12 to 15 weeks of age both of them were sleeping 12 hour stretches at night...It may have been a little longer with my older son due to his projectile vomiting (good times). Babywise emphasizes the importance of establishing a consistent schedule with your baby which in turn allows flexibility when you aren't always able to maintain the schedule (aka grocery shopping day). I really love the wake/feed/play/sleep cycle that they teach in this book too. There are a few things that I'm not completely on board with, but overall, this is a great book that has helped us establish good habits.

I realize that these books and strategies aren't for everyone - especially when it comes to Babywise. It seems that even the mention of Babywise stirs up ill feelings in people. It's cool. Don't worry about it. I promise I won't think you are a bad parent if you choose to do things a different way from me. These books and strategies have helped us establish the environment that we are striving for in our specific family. Every family is unique in the way that they operate and the goals that they establish. But if you are looking for information, then these are the books I would recommend to start off with. :) What parenting books have you found helpful?

Alone Time

Here I am! Did you miss me? Well, if you actually did miss me, you probably still will, because I still lack motivation due to pregnancy brain and exhaustion. So it's pretty likely that I won't post too often for a couple more months. My mom took The Toddler to "Old McDonald's" (aka McDonald's) for lunch, and so I have a little more time to myself today and a little more energy, which is why I've decided blog. So here's what you've missed:

• We found out that we are having another BOY.  The Spouse and I are completely content with this, but we would have been happy either way. This little one is due to make an appearance in Mid-October, but I'm hoping we don't don't go all the way to 40 weeks, especially since I only went to 37 weeks with The Toddler. (He wasn't a toddler back then, though)

 I think it's possible that this picture may not be appropriate. ;)

• Pregnancy during the summer is THE WORST! I knew it would be and it is just as unpleasant as I thought it would be. (The things you do for your kids!) Oh well. 
• I am not a nice pregnant person. In fact, I'm like the polar opposite of my normal self. My husband and I joke about that pregnancy is my alter-ego. It's not that I want to be mean, or try, but it just sneaks out before I realize what's happening. I feel like I am on one giant stretch of PMS. (I want you guys to know that I really am still trying to be nice...I just fail frequently) Sad and unfortunate, but true. So I just want to thank all my friends for putting up with me for all this time. I really do like all of you guys, and I still want to be friends!!!!
• I am the most comfortable when sitting in the recliner with my feet up. Therefore, I've read a lot of books lately. Plus, my brother recently bought me the new Nook Glow and I have just discovered the wonderful world of ebooks from the library. It really can't get any better than this. (just kidding). Btw - I am always up for a good book recommendation. Tell me what you've read! 

 Pretend like you don't see that pile of unfolded laundry in the backgroud.

• I've recently noticed a change in The Toddler's social development. I've started to notice that he has become a little more lonely lately. But at the same time, he doesn't even realize that he's lonely since at the moment he is an only child and doesn't know any different. So my husband and I decided to sign him up for a couple of activities this summer - a tumbling class, soccer, and horse back riding. I've also made more of an effort to schedule at least one play date a week. I've seen a huge difference in him too. 

Sorry about the sideways video! The Toddler is in the yellow shirt and his teacher is trying to show him how to do a somersault.

• I've mentioned it before, but I have blood sugar issues during pregnancy (which basically requires me to eat every 1.5 hours and avoid ALL sweets and starches). There are two blogs that I frequently check for awesome food ideas - Kath Eats Real Food and Sugar Free Mom. Check them out!!! 
• I am now on Instagram, thanks to my awesome friend, Sarah. You can follow me @MusicianAtHeart. Wait...did that count as a shameless plug? If you answered yes, I apologize. ;)
• The spouse and I recently went on a mini-vacation/business trip together to Colorado Springs - without The Toddler! We visited the Olympic Training Center, Garden of the Gods, Manitou Springs, ate great food, turned down a hippie begging for ice cream and cigarettes (no joke), and I did a serious amount of lounging.

I hope to blog a little more often, but don't hold your breath for that one. :) I'm at the point to where I refuse to commit to things while I am smack in the middle of pregnancy...honestly I probably won't be ready for extra commitments until after the baby is born and I'm not sleep deprived. Maybe January? Until then, I'll try to update when I can. :)

Truthful Tuesday Confessions

It's been a while since I've done one of these. I've found that I don't always have as many ridiculous or light-hearted confessions as I thought I would. But here's what I want to tell you about today.

• Sometimes I am really proud of an outfit that I put together. I really want to show you guys what I'm wearing, because I like it so much. But I can never manage to take a picture that doesn't look like those cheesy-first-day-of-school pictures...except I haven't been in school for many years. So I've decided that Outfit posts on my blog is a bad idea. 

 Signs that your Toddler has been in your bathroom. Btw, the straightener wasn't hot

• I get papers in the mail addressing me as, "Reverend Michelle Sexton"...because I am a licensed minister. I'm not a pastor though, but I used to be the Worship Pastor at a church. After that position ended, I still maintained my credentials. 

 Nothing hits the spot like a rich chocolate cupcake :)

• Despite the fact that I've tried many types of sushi, my favorite sushi roll is still the California Roll.  So unoriginal, right?

 Ketchup art at Johnny Rockets

• My house has been in a continuous state of disaster since about Mid-February, which was a little after I found out I was pregnant and began to experience an extreme amount of fatigue. It's been cleaned several times since then, but I can't seem to KEEP it that way. Blah. 

 A failed attempt at a cookie cake, fortunately my family still thought it tasted good.

• My husband bought a Jeep in February. It wasn't until last week, almost a month after the temporary tags expired, that he finally got it registered and got a real license plate. We had a complicated series of events that prevented us from registering it sooner - failed inspections, a couple of unknown repairs to get done, even some paperwork. During that time, The Spouse and I were sweating bullets, hoping that he didn't get pulled over for an expired tag. Ha ha. 

 A birthday present from his uncle, it's too large for his head, way too fun.

• Blogging makes me feel normal. I like having to have a chance to tell you about the ridiculous stuff I go through, looking back, and laughing about it. And I've found that I'm not alone. 

 The Toddler finished our Chocolate Molten cake from Chili's. All. By. Himself.

• As I am typing this, The Toddler is up in his room, whining and fussing, because he didn't have a good nap. I told him that he could come out as soon as he stops crying, but apparently he wants to stay up there to whine. His choice. ;)

Now it's your turn. What do you have on your mind. Tell me something ridiculous about yourself!

2 Recipes for kids to try.

I've told you this before, but my kid is a picky eater! I find it annoying. I'm always on the lookout for fun recipes and food ideas that will peak The Toddler's interest in eating. Here are two that we've done recently.

These are Spaghetti and Meatball Cupcakes. They really aren't cupcakes at all, but since they take a similar form, the name suits them. I had a page open on the blog where I found these cute little cupcakes for about a week. Every time The Toddler saw the photo, he would ask me to make them, and tell me he wanted to eat them. Every. Single. Time. So when The Toddler actually asks to eat food, I definitely take notice. So I made them. You can find the recipe here.

Because I have trouble with my blood sugar levels (and consequently avoid sugar, and simple carbs), I modified the recipe slightly. Instead of frozen meatballs, I made my own and cooked them before I baked them in the spaghetti cups (btw - I added purred veggies into the meatballs - ha ha). I also used a sugar free spaghetti sauce (Hunts) and whole wheat spaghetti noodles. Since the meatballs were fully cooked before I baked them, the meatballs ended up drying out a little on the outside. I compensated by pouring additional warm spaghetti sauce and cheddar cheese over the meatballs once they finished baking (And they tasted fine).

I think my son actually thought these were cupcakes, so when I put it on his plate and he realized they weren't, he seemed disappointed. He tends to be wary of food with several ingredients. But once we encouraged him to separate the meatball, cheese, sauce, and noodles, he liked them. My husband and I loved these! They were fun to eat (yes, we are adults), and my husband loved the meat to spaghetti ratio. AND they are the perfect entree to pack in your lunch. I would say these are definitely worth a shot. :)

The other recipe isn't really a recipe. Well, sort of. It's just your classic, tried and true Little Smoky Sausage Wrapped in Crescent rolls. My son loves these. LOVES them. The problem is, they're kind of lacking in the nutrition department. So I changed it up, ever so slightly.

I used a tube of refrigerated crescent dough, like always. But after rolling it out, I sprinkled Wheat Germ (ok maybe doused, piled, covered, whatever) on top of the crescent dough and pressed it into the dough. Then I proceeded to cut each pre-cut triangle into 3 or 4 additional smaller triangles, and wrapped up the Little Smoky Sausages in the dough, starting with the flat edge of the dough and ending with the tip. Then I baked them using the baking time and temperature listed on the dough's can.

If you look closely at the picture below, you can see little grains of wheat germ sprinkled around the Little Smokies. This didn't seem to bother The Toddler. But if this does bother your kiddo, you can easily hide the wheat germ. I was too lazy to bother with this task. (Meticulous activities annoy me)

This was definitely a quick and easy way to make a not-so-nutritious food a little bit healthier. A little. And the family liked them. And ate them. Score.

A Sick Toddler & A Pointless Visit to the ER

Can I just say that parenting can be so exhausting sometimes? It is. Remember how I recently mentioned that I was sick last week? Well, I also managed to get The Spouse sick, and then two nights ago, we were up with The Toddler who also managed to get sick and acquire a pretty high fever. Blah. Dealing with a sick kid in the middle of the night is pretty much my least favorite thing about parenting. But who really likes dealing with sick kids in the middle of the night? I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this.

My day yesterday consisted of The Toddler laying on the couch for most of the day watching a serious amount of the Disney Chanel while I worked on stuff around the house, and also had a nap or two on the couch with the Toddler (still feeling the fatigue from first trimester). Although I had checked The Toddler's temperature often, it shot up while I was fixing dinner. The Spouse noticed it when he got home. It was ohhh....105! Not that I was panicked, but I was definitely alarmed since, this is the temp where you go to the hospital to avoid cooking organs and seizures. So we gave The Toddler a nice cold bath while he screamed like we were murdering him. (I was really hoping that a neighbor wouldn't come to the door while this was going on, because I'm pretty sure that you could hear my son's screams from outside our house. Pretty sure).

However, after the cold bath and a new dose of Ibuprofen, his temp was right back at 105, he was laying on the couch, and was completely listless. At that point, we decided that he needed medical attention, and since Urgent Care had already closed for the day, to the ER we went. Oh yay. I hate the ER. (And Urgent Care for that matter).

Before going any further, I would just like to add, that I was completely exhausted at this point in the evening, and The Spouse was still sick with the flu, despite the fact that he went to work that day. We were exhausted.

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After LOTS of waiting at the ER we finally got admitted into an exam room, where we wait for an hour, and The Toddler's temp drops all the way down to 101. Nice. Suddenly he was all over the exam room, exploring and playing. By the time the doctor examined him, he was just a kid with the flu with a mild temp. So after several hours and a handful of tests that came back negative, we were released. But not without paying an expensive ER co-pay...for nothing since The Toddler had magically recovered once we got to the exam room.

This is the second time this has happened with The Toddler. We also took The Toddler into the ER around New Years for a head injury after he started vomiting. By the time that the doctor saw him in the exam room, The Toddler was fine - walking around playing, no longer pale, and only a slightly elevated temp. I'm pretty sure the exam rooms in the ER have magical powers that will suddenly make your child better. 


Today The Toddler is still sick, but well enough to get into trouble. I just caught him trying to roll a basketball down the stairs.

Creative Parenting

The past week or so has been busy, and I've been...well, tired. I haven't had the energy to do much writing lately. Part of the reason was that my son has been on a I-refuse-to-eat-dinner phase. It's been great. Not really. At one point, we visited with the Feeding Clinic, to discuss different approaches for getting him to be willing to eat dinner.

After some time contemplating my son's decision to avoid dinner, I came to 3 conclusion:

1. He definitely has issues with food presentation - somehow if his food doesn't look how he thinks it should look, he refuses to eat it. Case in point - last night we went to a pizza, sub, and salad place for dinner. We go there at least once a month, and The Toddler always eats a slice of cheese pizza. I ordered the same slice of cheese pizza that he always gets, but last night, he took one look at the pizza, and said, "I don't like that." Yeah, right. Whatever. There was nothing wrong with it, but apparently in his mind there was.
2. He is still a picky eater. He's always been a picky eater. Since birth. Unfortunately.
3. He is definitely going through an autonomous phase. I've noticed a rise in his desire to do things himself, and make his own decisions.

I was pretty confident that the autonomy issue was the most influential part of his decision to skip dinner on a regular basis. Apparently I needed to come up with a couple of inconsequential areas where The Toddler could express his autonomy. So I decided to let him pick his clothes when he gets dressed. Within reason though. Sometimes we give him a couple of options, if we are going somewhere where he needs to dress appropriately - like Sundays. On Sundays we let him choose which dress clothes to wear. So he doesn't look completely like a wild child. :)

You know what though? It worked. After a couple of days, we started to notice a difference in The Toddler's attitude towards eating. He even took a couple of bites of meat! Amazing.

One thing that has really surprised me about parenting is the need for creativity when working with your kids through their issues. I've found that often times the normal approaches to overcoming conflict rarely work with my son. So I've had to get creative - like allowing him to pick out his clothes.

Just a thought for today. :) More creative posts coming soon.

Truthful Tuesday Confessions

Guess what time it is? It's time for another Truthful Tuesday Confession. So unburden yourself with your latest light-hearted confession. What ridiculous information do you want to share today?

• I haven't been feeling well. I've been having lots of problems with low blood sugar. Massive headaches, emotional outbursts, and extreme fatigue are just a few of side effects I've had. So after reading up on this issue, I've decided to follow a diet that helps regulate your blood sugar by cutting out most carbs and sugar for a couple of weeks, and the slowly add the complex carbs back in. I've been following the diet plan since Friday. Since I've cut out my sweets, I feel so much better! It's not as hard as I thought it would be, but in the evenings, I really miss eating something sweet - like a cookie. 

• I like Christmas, but I'm not a huge fan of decorating my house. My husband and I put up our decorations 2 weeks before Christmas, due to the fact that we were hosting Christmas at our house this year. I put our decorations away 3 days after Christmas. It's not that I don't like my house to look festive, it's more that the decorations seem to clutter things up and take up too much space (like the tree). And I have a toddler who wants to touch everything. We have about 3 or 4 less ornaments than we started out with a couple of weeks ago. 

• I used to HATE having incomplete sets of dishes. When my husband (or I, but usually it was him) would break one, we would glue them back together - because I didn't want my set to be incomplete. But then after The Toddler came around, broken dishes were no longer high on the priority list. They found their way to the trash. Oh well.

Truthful Tuesday Confessions

I've decided to start a weekly (or semi-weekly, maybe?) theme on my blog - Truthful Tuesdays - where we can all confess the ridiculous actions and thoughts we have on our mind. Why? For fun.

So do you want to know my confessions today?

• It took me over a year to enjoy being a stay-at-home. The first six months after my son was born were incredibly difficult, and beyond stressful, due to an unexpected move, my son's sleep issues, his challenging feeding issues, and his reflux. I felt very alone and no one seemed to understand why I was having such a hard time with my son - especially when it came to my son's feeding issues. (We ended up having to taking him to a feeding clinic for several months that helped him get over his feeding problems). There was so much stress during that time, and it seemed that everyone seemed to think I was being overly dramatic about these conflicts. I was so overwhelmed with all of these issues, it was hard to enjoy being a mom. Earlier this year I really found my groove and started enjoying being at home with The Toddler.
• During the winter I sleep with socks in bed. I take them off in the bed once I warm up and usually forget to take them out. (My husband finds this annoying. I don't blame him). One time I found 8 pairs of socks in my bed.
• I find Lima beans horrid. Over the years, I've tried them several times to see if maybe my taste buds have changed, but alas, they have not. 
• One time I walked into a wall around 5 AM when I was half awake. My husband was out of town and my son started crying. So I walked across the house to my son's room and totally missed the entry way to the hallway and walked straight into the wall. (What can I say? I know I'm amazing. I had a nice, swollen and bruised nose after that. The good news was that I didn't break it.

There you go. You should feel privileged that you know pointless information about me. Now it's your turn. Confess. You know you want to.

Thoughts on People's Thoughts.

A totally random photo to share. Because you can't write a blog without putting pictures in. This is The Toddler watching the movie, Tron, in 3D while we were browsing an electronics store recently. This kid amuses me.

And now to be serious.

I rarely blog about spiritual issues, not because I'm opposed or shy about sharing. It's more that I preferr to meditate on these things in private or to speak about them face to face with someone rather than write about them.  But every once in a while, I feel compelled to share. Today is one of those days.

"Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety." Proverbs 29:25

I read this verse today. I've read this verse numerous times. But today this verse stood out to me. Here's why - I am a people pleaser to a fault. I want everyone to like me and I want everyone to approve of me. When I percieve that someone doesn't like me, it makes me feel insecure. My security is based on what people think of me. I am afraid that people won't like me. This is an awful way to live - a dangerous trap. Over the years, I've become more aware of this personal conflict. I've stopped obsessing about what others may think of me. But it has taken years, with lots of prayer and lots of time to allow God to change my thinking. I've had to give my insecurities to God and allow him to heal my heart as I have spent time with him. The closer I've drawn to God, the less time I have spent worrying about what other people think. I'm not going to lie, I still have days when I spend a little too much time worrying about other people's opinions concerning me. There are times when my insecurities creep up inside of my heart, but I've found the best way to deal with this conflict is to stop and remind myself that people's opinions of me don't matter.

I recently got yelled at by a CRAZY lady in the grocery store parking lot of over a misunderstanding. Long story short - she thought I stole her parking spot, but what she didn't realize or see was that I had been waiting for that spot long before she had arrived. She went totally balistic on me, nearly hit my car (and my mom who met me there), reported me to the store (gasp! oh no!), and repeatedly told me that I was a horrible person. Nobody enjoys being yelled at, but honestly, I really didn't care what she said or thought about me. Actually, I found the whole situation rather hysterical, considering that she managed to show everyone around us that she had a screw loose.

That conflict served as a watermark to me. It showed me how far I have come. If this had happened to me about 8 years ago, I probably would have curled up in a ball and started crying. Well...not really. But you get the idea.

Fearing people is a dangerous trap - worrying about people and what they think of you will only lead to heartache. You can't please everyone. It's impossible.

But trusting the Lord means safety - the only opinion that truly matters is God's. And only he can bring you the true peace and fulfillment that you are searching for in others. My relationship with God puts my heart at peace.

And I am blessed. :)

And on a not-so-serious note, I have an awesome story to share with you guys about what a ninja I am. But more on that later. Ha ha.

Another random picture of The Toddler. At the dog park. Wearing only his hood. Because his head was cold. I'm telling you, this kid is awesome. He will probably kill me when he gets older and realizes that I let him dress like this.

And one more thing. My toddler puked all over his bed and the carpet at 10:30 last night. It was awesome. I have no idea why he puked. He seems fine today. Just thought I would share. Oh the joys of parenting.

Thankful.

I usually avoid writing about topics talking about being thankful around Thanksgiving. I find them sappy. Isn't that horrible? I know. It is. Ha ha. But despite my cynical attitude, I promise I really am thankful. I am thankful for many things. But I feel very blessed to have my husband, and my son in my life. My husband is my best friend, and greatest support. My son fills my heart with love. I am thankful for them.

I took this photo of my husband and son about two years ago. My son was about 7 months old. We were at a pumpkin patch waiting for the hayride.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Adventures With a Sprained Ankle

In case you haven't heard, I sprained my ankle. It was 2 weeks ago when I took my son and his friend down the slide at a pumpkin patch. We went down so fast that I couldn't stop in time and rolled my ankle at the bottom of the slide. Not my favorite moment. Ever since then, I've been wearing a fancy bionic boot...or at least that's what my husband and I call it. The Toddler runs around saying, "Mommy has an owie leg." And then he leans down and kisses my boot....when he's not feeling ornery.

Here's a couple of thoughts, observations, and comments I have concerning a sprained ankle:

• When I was a kid, I used to fantasize, yes fantasize, about how awesome it would be to have an injury that would require crutches. Since then I have gotten over that foolish fantasy. 

• I hate/love the fact that I need to stay off my feet as much as possible. Since becoming a mom a couple of years ago, I long for the time when I can recline on the couch all day and do nothing. But now that I HAVE to do this, I find it very boring, and frustrating. I have so many things I want to get done, but shouldn't be doing.

• Wearing the boot, brings me to a new level of frumpiness, that I have never before achieved. When I stay home for the day, I wear sweats and boots. (Maybe I should say A Boot). Yes boots. Because a boot with my bionic boot, it keeps my foot at the same level as my foot in the bionic foot. Otherwise, it feels like you are walking with only one heel. Very uncomfortable.

•  Since I look so frumpy at home, I really try to make the effort to look nice when I go out of the house. However, the bionic boot really takes away from my outfits. ;) After I would get dressed in the morning, I would walk downstairs and show my husband and say, "Fabulous!" (referring to my outfit). Now I walk downstairs and say "Almost Fabulous." Ha.

• I only wear my right shoes these days. (for obvious reasons). I have a pile of right shoes at the foot of my bed. Because that's where I take them off before getting into bed at night. I believe I might have a hard time finding the matches to each of my shoes once I don't have to wear the bionic boot anymore. 

•  I feel incredibly dumb telling people how I sprained my ankle. Especially the part about going down the slide.

• Believe it or not, I really, really, really miss exercising. I feel so tired and sluggish when I don't exercise. Blah. I'm also really sad that I'm missing great cycling weather. This makes me really sad. I've actually considered trying to cycle with a sprained ankle, but I decided that would not be a good idea. Ha ha. 

• I've been letting The Toddler watch waaay more TV than he should lately - to keep him occupied while I rest. I feel so guilty about it. 

• I think having an injury and walking around with a heavy bionic boot all day must make me extra tired, because I have been sleeping way more than usual. 

• 2 weeks down, and 4 more to go. This feels like forever.

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