Mom Humor: 18 Ways to Spot a Mom of Little Ones

Being a mom to little ones is amazing. I LOVE these little guys, but it's not always easy, right? Sometimes, it's just downright stressful and exhausting. On those days, I've found it's best to find the humor in the situation. So, here are several ways to identify someone else who may be in your shoes. I've compiled a list of situations from personal experience that will make you feel better. ;)

My mom thinks I'm morbid for making this picture

You know you're a mom of little ones when:

1. You are at a doctor's appointment, and start to roll up your the leg of your pants only to find tiny little Cheetos fingerprints around the knee area. You and the doctor have seen them, and then you have to explain, "I'm a mom."

2. You have at least 3 toys in your purse or diaper bag at all times.

3. You always carry snacks in your purse or diaper bag.

4. When everyone actually likes dinner and eats it promptly without complaining, you consider it a major victory. 

5. You LOVE being able to run errands by yourself and insist on only carrying your keys, a small wallet, and your cell phone instead the giant mom purse or diaper bag that you normally have.

6. You find small chalk hand prints on one of your cars. 

7. Eating by yourself and taking an uninterrupted shower is a luxury. 

8. If you keep a small potty in the car, because you never know when your toddler might announce the need to use the bathroom and pulling over for a potty break is so much better than washing the car seat cover.

9. You put on a sweater that you thought was clean only to find a small sections of dried food on the sleeve left by your toddler. Instead of taking it off, you say, "Oh well. I'm a mom. This is expected. I'll look like this by the end of the day anyway." And then you wear it.

The time he tried to change the Scentsy warmer in the bathroom. Not blood, just wax. No burns. Just a big mess to clean up. A big mess that he was required to clean up.

10. Regardless of how often you clean out your car, it never seems to stay clean. There will always be a collection of cracker crumbs, empty juice boxes, random toy parts, and fingerprints on the windows.

11. Making dinner without any interruptions or meltdowns from your children is a major victory. 

12. When you get home at the end of the day only to realize that you have been sporting a collection of stickers on your shirt, placed by your toddler when you weren't paying attention.

13. When you find your cell phone in the toy box, but not because you put it there.

While I was busy, Cheese found a way to entertain himself

14. You look forward to the days that you get to stay home because you don't have to look presentable to go out in public. Yoga pants, no make-up and wet hair.

15. "Sleeping in" is when you don't have to get up until 7 AM.

16. When your kids' toys always seem to end up in your own bedroom instead of theirs, regardless of how often you make them put them away.

17. If at least one of your kids has dropped your cell phone into the sink, tub, or toilet full of water.

18. You have a mountain of clean and unfolded laundry piled somewhere inside your house, that rarely disappears. AND your family is so accustomed to sifting through the pile for their clothes that when you actually manage to fold ALL the laundry and put it away, replace it with a pile of dirty clothes to be washed, and your kids STILL go to the pile for clothes instead of checking their drawers. 

Can you relate? Please, feel free to add to the list! 

By the way, I pulled all of these photos from my Instagram account. Check it out for a regular dose the mom humor and shenanigans. ;)

When Life Doesn't Go As Planned

I've wanted to share this story for a long time, but I've never been quite sure how or when to share it. 

Sometimes, despite all the planning, life doesn't go the way you expect it to, you know? My older son's first year of life was like that. He was a hard baby. Very hard.

He was born at 37 weeks. Not a premature baby, but a preterm baby.

 {Less than 12 hours old}

Because he was born a little early, he struggled with nursing. But we kept at it. Within the first couple of weeks, he started projectile vomiting. (I cannot tell you how may times I've been puked on). We also struggled to keep him on a growth curve. Any growth curve. He cried a LOT. He was hungry literally ALL the time, and he was always cranky. We visited lactation consultants. We had blood tests done. We tried a couple different antacids. I changed my diet several times. We took him for a swallow study. It seemed that despite all of our efforts, his behavior was still the same. He was one miserable baby. I knew something wasn't right, but nobody seemed to have a good explanation as to what was wrong.

 {Preparing to do a swallow study at the hospital. Look at his tiny little hospital gown.}

And then one day, he stopped nursing. Completely. Regardless of how hungry he was, he absolutely refused to nurse. (What kind of kid does that???) My husband and I were in no kind of financial situation to pay for formula on a regular basis, and since he had reflux, I felt like I had no other choice but to pump my milk. So I did. And then I bottle fed him. It was time consuming. So. Much. Work. But even bottle feeding was a struggle for him.

When he was almost 4 months old, we were referred to a gastrointestinal specialist and a feeding clinic. The feeding clinic helped us figure out the best way to feed him and taught us special techniques. And we were finally able to pinpoint his problem. Since he was a preterm baby, he didn't have his "suck-swallow-breathe" rhythm down. When you add reflux and his impatient personality, it results in a recipe for disaster. After multiple visits to the feeding clinic, he started to progress. His projectile vomiting stopped, the screaming and crying during feedings subsided, and he started to stay on a growth curve. Relief.

This was a hard time in my life. Probably one of the hardest. I was still exhausted and recovering from childbirth (yes, really). My baby was always fussy. I was struggling to maintain my milk supply because he didn't nurse well. And I knew that something was wrong. I felt like I had so many conflicts stacked up against me. People around me thought I was being dramatic. To them I was just a new mom who was struggling with a new baby. I had many well intentioned people give me advise, even when I wasn't looking for it. Many times I just needed a listening ear, or a bit of encouragement. Instead people would say, "Well, if you do _______that will fix his problems." They didn't know what it was like to have a baby who had a serious struggle with feeding. Their advise always seemed to be based on resolving normal baby conflicts. It only ended up making me feel more discouraged.

My purpose in writing this is not to gain sympathy, but to share my experience. I want to encourage other moms who have struggled or are struggling like this. It's hard when your child is going through a health issue that you can't seem to find the answer to. It's hard when nobody seems to understand what you and your family may be going through, yet everyone is so willing to hand out advice without fully comprehending your situation.

{Over time his eating has improved}

It's not easy going through something like this. If you find yourself in a situation here's a couple of thoughts to keep in mind:

- Life doesn't always go the way we plan or the way we want it to. When your expectations don't come into fruition, it doesn't mean you are a failure. 
- Educate yourself on the specific issue as much as you can, and always ask questions. Don't give up and keep searching until you've found your answer.
- Above all else, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6. Seek God for direction.

And the next time a friend opens up about a conflict, remember to be quick to listen and slow to speak. Before offering advice, be sure to listen and make certain that they are truly asking for advice. Sometimes a person may just need a listening ear or just a little encouragement rather than advice. 

Food for thought.

Where have you been?

Have you missed me? Say yes. Even if you don't mean it. Humor me.

In case you missed it, which I seriously doubt you did, I had a baby. Almost a year ago. When I got pregnant at the beginning of 2012, I had hardest time doing anything other than laying face down on the couch and sleeping or puking in the toilet. Basically that's how my entire pregnancy went. Mostly. Good times. Not really, but totally worth it for the baby.

Our second baby was born at the end of the September after a week of on again/off again labor. So aggravating. This time around I chose not to have a birth plan, simply because I wanted to be flexible. My first son's birth didn't go quite how I hoped or planned and I was a bit disappointed (I wanted to go natural but wasn't rested enough to make it to the end). So this time I didn't plan. I probably would have attempted to do a natural birth again except for the fact that labor was frequent during that last week, that I was too hungry or tired to even consider a natural birth. (I lost a LOT of sleep that last week, and wasn't able to eat much either). When it was really time to go to the hospital this time, I just wanted an epidural so I could sleep and I wanted that kid to come OUT. And he did. About 12 hours after we checked in.

{Check out that awesome lanugo hair on his back. Such a hairy little guy}

7 lbs 10oz & 20 inches long. He looked a lot like his brother but shorter and fatter. But just a little. :)

So then after I had the baby I was super tired (of course). And I nursed this little guy. So there was no taking turns during the midnight feedings with Joel. He started sleeping for 12 hour stretches at night at the end of December, so I got more sleep at that point. But somehow between caring for an infant as well as a preschooler, I was still tired.

{Christmas Eve}

Summer proved to be chaotic and although I was rested when summer started, the chaos of summer undid my restful demeanor. We took a road trip to visit Thomas the Train, replaced the entire downstairs floor (I'll blog about that soon), my husband had about 123,897 business trips (summer is the busy season when you work in the IT field), I got super sick with a crazy sinus infection that knocked the socks off the doctors, and I managed to over-exhaust my infant and he started waking up at the crack of dawn (5:30 AM). It took FOREVER to figure out how to fix that one. (Let me tell you how awesome it was to get up at 5:30 AM with a tired baby while you are super sick and your spouse is out of town. Basically I wanted to cry those days. But I didn't. Because I'm tough. Not really.)

{Thomas the Train!!!}

But things have calmed down now. I've been on a crazy amount of antibiotics (and my face doesn't hurt from the sinus infection), the busy season is coming to a close for my spouse, the baby is sleeping until 7 AM again, our floors are done, AND my older son started preschool!

{I think this is the funniest photo ever, specifically because the older kid is accidentally covering his face and it looks like I'm about to drop the younger one. His facial expression is priceless. He is SO the younger sibling. I laugh out loud every time I see this photo.}

So basically what I am telling you is that I had to take a break from blogging between pregnancy and the first year of baby #2 because I was tired. And the thought of blogging during this time was not something I could manage. I know plenty of people manage to do both during those times, and basically I think they are like amazing. Super mom. Not me. But life has calmed down. And I'm not tired like I was before. So I'm back. Did you miss me? Say yes. ;)

Creative Parenting

The past week or so has been busy, and I've been...well, tired. I haven't had the energy to do much writing lately. Part of the reason was that my son has been on a I-refuse-to-eat-dinner phase. It's been great. Not really. At one point, we visited with the Feeding Clinic, to discuss different approaches for getting him to be willing to eat dinner.

After some time contemplating my son's decision to avoid dinner, I came to 3 conclusion:

1. He definitely has issues with food presentation - somehow if his food doesn't look how he thinks it should look, he refuses to eat it. Case in point - last night we went to a pizza, sub, and salad place for dinner. We go there at least once a month, and The Toddler always eats a slice of cheese pizza. I ordered the same slice of cheese pizza that he always gets, but last night, he took one look at the pizza, and said, "I don't like that." Yeah, right. Whatever. There was nothing wrong with it, but apparently in his mind there was.
2. He is still a picky eater. He's always been a picky eater. Since birth. Unfortunately.
3. He is definitely going through an autonomous phase. I've noticed a rise in his desire to do things himself, and make his own decisions.

I was pretty confident that the autonomy issue was the most influential part of his decision to skip dinner on a regular basis. Apparently I needed to come up with a couple of inconsequential areas where The Toddler could express his autonomy. So I decided to let him pick his clothes when he gets dressed. Within reason though. Sometimes we give him a couple of options, if we are going somewhere where he needs to dress appropriately - like Sundays. On Sundays we let him choose which dress clothes to wear. So he doesn't look completely like a wild child. :)

You know what though? It worked. After a couple of days, we started to notice a difference in The Toddler's attitude towards eating. He even took a couple of bites of meat! Amazing.

One thing that has really surprised me about parenting is the need for creativity when working with your kids through their issues. I've found that often times the normal approaches to overcoming conflict rarely work with my son. So I've had to get creative - like allowing him to pick out his clothes.

Just a thought for today. :) More creative posts coming soon.

DIY T-shirt Headband

Headbands are pretty much the most useful accessory for moms. You can wear one just for fun, but they are also great for those days when you have to run out of the house without a shower. (I hate those days) Since you have on such a cute headband, no one will even notice that your hair is unwashed!

In my previous blog post, I talked about a blogger's gift exchange I participated in. If you clicked over to Megan's page, the blogger I got matched up with, you saw that I made her a headband. I made this headband from a T-shirt sleeve, and took less than an hour. Here's how I did it:

I found this t-shirt at a flea market in the fall. A vendor was selling a bunch of t-shirts for $1 each. So I snagged an XXL sized one, with the intention to use it for an undetermined future project.

Start by cutting off the sleeve of the T-shirt.

Determine the desired width of the headband, and trim off the excess fabric. But keep in mind that you want to leave a little extra for sewing and hemming the raw side. I wanted mine to be about an inch wide, so I gave myself an additional inch of fabric to work with.

Next, serge the raw edge of the T-shirt. (Actually in retrospect, you can probably skip this step, because t-shirt material typically doesn't unravel...didn't think about that until now. Duh)

Next turn the sleeve inside out, fold over the trimmed side, pin it, and sew it.

Then, to hide the unfinished edge, while the sleeve is still inside out, fold over the sewn edge, pin it, and sew it one more time to give it a more finished look.

Your headband should look something like the one pictured above. Then stitch a decorative line down the opposite side of the headband (The side that you didn't sew yet).

Once you have finished, add some cute accessories, like buttons. (it just so happens that I LOVE buttons. It's my secret obsession) I hand stitched these on, but if you are feeling super lazy, you could always use hot glue!

Done! Quick & Easy.
:)

Things to Not Do:

I need to tell you that I am really, really wise. Or maybe not so much. But I try. So I thought I should impart some of my amazing wisdom that I have acquired. Prepare to be blown away by these profound thoughts. It will change your life. Just in case you haven't figured it out, I am totally being sarcastic.

Things I don't recommend that you do:

• Sleep in so long that you feel tired for the rest of the day. I know it sounds tempting, but trust me. It's a bad idea. 
• Allow your child who still takes naps to skip their nap. Every once in a while I succumb to peer pressure and allow my child to skip his nap. This is NEVER a good idea. NEVER. I let him skip it yesterday and by the end of the day he was bananas! And drove me bananas. Fortunately I called my parents and ditched him with them. Ha ha. 
• Binging on sugar. Massive crash. Blahhh.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
• Procrastinate on updating and/or balancing your checkbook for 5 months. This is bad. bad. Bad. BAD. 
• Allowing your potty-trained toddler to take himself to the bathroom and then avoid checking on him for 5 silent minutes. You never know what they will come up with to do in there. (unroll all the toilet paper, play with the toilet brush wand, rub lotion all over their shirt, and pee all over a 2 foot area.)
• Saying words you don't want your toddler to repeat - even words that aren't bad. Example - "Oh crappy, Crappy, CRAP!" Yes I actually said that. (leave me alone). You never know when those words will sneak out of their mouth. 
• Getting a mullet...not that I have, because I haven't. But I'm just saying that you shouldn't.  
• Food battles with your toddler...AHHHHHHH!!!

 
Things that I think you should do:

• Make a nose out of Play-doh and stick on your child. It's awesome
• Sit your toddler on the driveway with their car seat and tell your parents to come and pick him up...wait...that sounded mean. I didn't mean it like that. I meant it in a fun way...Are you confused? Oh well. 
• Soak in the bathtub. Because it's awesome. 

Feel free to contribute to either list. 

What's In My Purse - The Mom Edition

On occasion I come across blog posts where people take pictures of what they have in their purse. They always seem to have interesting items. It's amusing. Well yesterday, right before was leaving to run errands, I realized my purse was really heavy. And you know, I've really had a hard time finding smaller items in my purse, so I decided to quickly clean it out before I left. And then I got an idea - to do a post about what's in my purse - the mom version of what's in my purse. Ha!

So here's what I found -

2 wallets (yes, 2 - they are both mine, and it's a really long explanation), a baby wipe container with dried up wipes, 3 tubes of hand cream, 1 bottle of hand sanitizer, a mirror, lipstick (amusing since I rarely wear makeup because I'm too lazy), tinted chapstick from Burt's Bees (the closest I usually get to wearing makeup), a comb, coupons, a busy bag (more on that in a minute), a devotion book from church, a red plastic spoon (I don't know why that was in there), a hair clip, a sugar-free lollipop, a Fiber One bar (I think that's been in there for a while), a sanitary wipe, and a ring with various baby care items - brush, comb, nail clippers, and temperature strips (I think I've used that whole contraption ONCE)

In addition to all that junk I also found:

7 cars (one is not pictured. I found it after I took this photo)

One giant pile of TRASH

which also included an old shopping list, expired Chuck E Cheese coupons (scary place), 2 nursery claim stickers to pick up The Toddler from the nursery at church, a coffee stirrer (?), a half eaten coupon (courtesy of The Toddler), and a movie ticket stub from Captain America

And 9 pens. The purple ones are from church. Somehow they always end up in purse???

I mentioned a busy bag as well. In case you aren't familiar with busy bags, they are small bags with a little activity to keep you kiddo entertained and quiet while you are out an about. I usually pull this out when we are at a restaurant, waiting for our food...and even at the coffee shop (yes, sometimes I go get coffee with a friend!!).  Here's what is inside mine:

We use these paint swatches and paper clips for matching games.

So there you go! Now you know what I have (or had) inside my purse. And in case you are wondering, yes, I do have a REALLY BIG purse. (It used to double as a diaper bag before The Toddler was potty trained). What's the most unique item in your purse?

Truthful Tuesday Confessions

I've decided to start a weekly (or semi-weekly, maybe?) theme on my blog - Truthful Tuesdays - where we can all confess the ridiculous actions and thoughts we have on our mind. Why? For fun.

So do you want to know my confessions today?

• It took me over a year to enjoy being a stay-at-home. The first six months after my son was born were incredibly difficult, and beyond stressful, due to an unexpected move, my son's sleep issues, his challenging feeding issues, and his reflux. I felt very alone and no one seemed to understand why I was having such a hard time with my son - especially when it came to my son's feeding issues. (We ended up having to taking him to a feeding clinic for several months that helped him get over his feeding problems). There was so much stress during that time, and it seemed that everyone seemed to think I was being overly dramatic about these conflicts. I was so overwhelmed with all of these issues, it was hard to enjoy being a mom. Earlier this year I really found my groove and started enjoying being at home with The Toddler.
• During the winter I sleep with socks in bed. I take them off in the bed once I warm up and usually forget to take them out. (My husband finds this annoying. I don't blame him). One time I found 8 pairs of socks in my bed.
• I find Lima beans horrid. Over the years, I've tried them several times to see if maybe my taste buds have changed, but alas, they have not. 
• One time I walked into a wall around 5 AM when I was half awake. My husband was out of town and my son started crying. So I walked across the house to my son's room and totally missed the entry way to the hallway and walked straight into the wall. (What can I say? I know I'm amazing. I had a nice, swollen and bruised nose after that. The good news was that I didn't break it.

There you go. You should feel privileged that you know pointless information about me. Now it's your turn. Confess. You know you want to.