So Here's My Life

The things we make,
the food we eat and
the shenanigans in between.

A blog about making things by

Monday, April 2, 2007


I've had this thought swimming around in my head for some time, and I believe I've finally pieced my thoughts together in order to post a blog about the subject. I've seen this on several teenage girls' myspace : 4,000 Graphics and Pics
Here's what I think. I think that TRUE love is so much more than these silly actions listed above, like throwing pebbles at the girl's window, and kissing her in the rain (personally, I'd much rather if Joel kissed me on the porch instead of the rain). Love is so much more than what is listed in this silly quote.
True love is committing to, and marrying the person you are in love with.
True love is learning the art of compromise, when both of you do not agree on a situation.
True love is loving your spouse and helping them through a mental illness.
True love is loving your spouse despite their appearance (whether temporary or permanent).
True love is formed from a friendship.
True love is forgiving your spouse when they make a mistake, instead of constantly reminding them of it.
True love is UNSELFISH.
True love goes beyond even what I have listed. It's much deeper. I've only hit the tip of the iceberg.

Honestly, the quote that I've listed above is very "sweet." But that's not what love is all about. It's just not. To be honest, I think this quote has totally missed the mark. I think that society, as a whole, is much more in love with the "romance" of being in "love" and the "butterflies" in your stomach than actual LOVE. Unfortunately I've witnessed society chasing after things listed in the quote rather than LOVE. Love is so much more than the "sweet" things, and the "butterflies."

I think that chick flicks have falsely influenced society's definition of love, and specifically teenage girls. Chick flicks falsely portray what love actually is. And to be honest, I have yet to meet a guy who is actually like the guys we see in chick flicks. My husband recently stated that any guy who acts like the guys on the chick flicks only acts like that if they're trying to get the girl to have sex with him.

I love my husband, Joel, with my whole entire heart. He has exceeded my expectations, and has demonstrated true love and commitment to me even in our lowest moments. But I almost missed out on this relationship. I, too, have fallen victim to the unrealistic expectations of society's view and definition of romance and love. When we were dating, things did not happen the way they did in the movies. He didn't come and throw pebbles at my window because he wanted to sleep. He didn't kiss me in the rain, because he didn't want to get wet (and of course, I didn't either). But just because things didn't happen that way doesn't mean that he loves me any less. I almost missed out on this relationship because things didn't happen the same way they did in the movies. And I was confused. (yes, I really was) I kept questioning whether or not Joel was the right person for me because our relationship was not like the one in the movies. Fortunately, it's so much better. And thank God I realized this before it was too late.

True love is defined in the Bible. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 is the well known, "Love" chapter.

Love is patient, love is kind, it is not envious.
Love does not brag, it is not puffed up.
It is not rude, it is not self-serving, it is not easily angered or resentful.
It is not glad about injustice, but rejoices in the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.

This passage is talking about how the Body of Christ (meaning the church) is supposed to treat each other, and love each other. Through this example we can learn how Christ teaches us to love our spouses as well.

So what's my point? My point is this: Don't let society and the media tell you what love really is. Love goes beyond the flirting, the "butterflies," and "warm fuzzies" you feel when you like someone. The quote that I have above is only a demonstration of superficial love. And if you chase after it, you will be disappointed. So I ask that you guys all do a little self-reflection. How do you view love? What does it mean to you? What are you wanting out of love? How much has the media effected your perception of love?

This has probably been one of the longest blogs I've written, and for those of you who have read the whole thing, I thank you for taking the time to read it. I want people to contemplate this issue of love, and evaluate what love really is.


Cara said...

Michelle - I left a comment on your other blog but then I decided I like this format better so I changed your link on my page to this one...did that make sense?

Anyway, I love this posting. You're a good writer - keep at it. Your writers voice (your words) keeps me reading.

Unknown said...

yeah, i think that the format on this page is better than the fomat on my other blog.

thanks for the compliment on my writing. it makes me very happy to know that people enjoy my writing.